I Don’t Care

Hey SuperMoms, remember the message Alexandria had for you last week, about being all judgey? I have another one for you: I don’t care.

That’s right, you heard correctly. I. Don’t. Care. You’re not judging, of course. You just have an opinion, and you have the right to voice it. But it doesn’t matter, because I really don’t care about what you think.

She’s right, though. The judging needs to stop. But what also needs to stop is how we are giving power to people whose opinions have exactly zero impact on our lives. If that lady in the organic aisle of the supermarket is giving you stink-eye because you have milk from the non-organic dairy case in your cart, who cares? If another mom in a Facebook group is spouting off about how she would never forward-face her child before age 6, so what? Other people are always going to have something bad to say – you can’t change that. Smile, nod, and carry on. If you don’t give them the power to affect your feelings, the only person they’ll hurt with their negativity and insensitivity is themselves. There’s a certain amount of choice that comes with our emotions and reactions, and we need to take responsibility for that. Learning to let go will free your mind, and your soul.

This isn’t to say you should just go on with your life and not care about anything anyone else has to say. Think critically about what is being said to you, who’s saying it, and how you feel. Is it useful information? If so, consider it. If not, let it go. There are battles worth fighting, too, but choose them wisely. If you’re passionate about breastfeeding, speak out. If anti-bullying is your agenda, keep pushing. There is value in fighting back, but choose who you engage and how you approach them, and stop giving that power over your feelings to people who don’t deserve it. Spend your emotional energy investing in people who care about you and love you and will refill your proverbial bucket when you are low. Spend that energy on doing things that make you happy. Surround yourself with people who support you and can criticize thoughtfully, without tearing you down. But most of all, stand tall, be strong, and don’t let the bitches get you down.

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5 thoughts on “I Don’t Care

  1. Kristina

    Very well written. As someone who has spent the last 9 months being judged, this really hit home. People make choices…some good some bad…and either celebrate or mourn the outcome. Why should anyone be condemned by this. Until you walk a mile or 500 miles in someone else’s shoes you cannot assume you know why their choices are right or wrong regardless of whether its about the type of food they eat or relationships in their life. As you said, let it go…sometimes changing someone else’s ideas to match yours is not worth the effort.

  2. Alex

    It would be really great if everyone was confident enough in themselves to not care, but sadly that isn’t the reality. Especially with new parents. I know when I first had my daughter, I soaked up every piece of knowledge I could… not realizing that babies don’t really follow the rules.

    It is awesome, however, that the older we get, the more likely we are to be confident in the choices we make.

    1. Samantha Post author

      It really does all come down to confidence, doesn’t it? And we have such a double-standard… it’s ok for our kids to trip and fall, they’re learning. But we’re supposed to have all the answers and get it right every time? Life doesn’t work like that.

      Damn, Alex. You’re making me think again. My brain can’t handle this so early in the morning! šŸ˜‰


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